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” Resting his head back down he blindly fumbled around the countertop until he felt the small bottle of eye drops. Flopping to the floor to lie down, he squeezed a drop or two into each eye. He rose up and blurrily searched the counter top until he saw the hemorrhoid cream and then flopped back down. He squeezed a little onto a fingertip and gingerly smeared it below his eyes. Even in the state he was in Joe managed a soft chuckle. “Putting hemorrhoid cream on my face..heh heh…gets me every time.” A very unsympathetic and condescending voice interrupted his brief moment of humor. “You look like shit. Even warmed over shit would be an improvement to the way you look.” “Go away J. Guy, I feel like shit.” “Obviously. C’mon you pussy up and at ‘em. Time for work, technically past time for work. But, you’re only 30 minutes late already…heh.” “Why the hell don’t you ever feel like I do after a night like that?” “Hmm…maybe because I’m not such a fucking lightweight there party boy. Now c’mon. "It couldn't be too bad, right?" The way she said it, it was like, 'I love him so much I don't care that he's a... a bank-robber!' Or maybe she's going to tell me he's a member of the Ku Klux Klan, or something!"Tad was his usual calm and collected self. "I suggest you just forget all about it until lunch time tomorrow, and see what she says." Let's play 'Worst Possible News!'" I said. "Louise is going to tell me tomorrow that Don's got leprosy!" Naw, it's not a disease," Tad said, warming to the game. "She'll tell you he weighs 450 pounds and likes to sit around the house without wearing a shirt!" He's a child-molester!" I suggested."Louise is his third wife -- and he never got around to divorcing the other two!" No, he's about to leave her -- for a guy!" I screamed."All right, all right, that's enough," Tad said. "Whatever Louise tells you tomorrow, it won't be as bad as any of those. Now let's relax and see what's on TV."Thursday at lunch, Louise had apparently had time to prepare.
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