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" I am soooo jealous," Meghan said. "Did he like, just touch it, or did he, like give you a little rub." He rubbed," Brittany said dreamily. "He like totally slid his thumb over the back of my hand. And, you know, he like had this look in his eye while he did it too. Oh Gawd. I think I need to go change my..." She stopped as she saw Ronald standing next to her, listening in on the conversation. She blushed a little, embarrassed. "Oh... hi, Ron," she said. "What's up?" Uh... nothing," Ronald said. "What were you two just talking about?"Brittany was too embarrassed to answer. Meghan, however, was not. "Jake Kingsley just checked in a few minutes ago," she said. "Why didn't you tell us he was going to be here?" Jake Kingsley?" Ronald said. "The singer?" What other Jake Kingsley would we be talking about?" Meghan asked snootily. "What's he doing here anyway? Intemperance isn't in town." Are you sure it was Jake Kingsley?" Ronald asked. "I wasn't told anything about a VIP visit. Maybe it. The guy asks the dog, “What’s on the outside of a tree?”The dog answers, “Bark!”“What’s on top of a house”The dog responds, “Roof!”Again, “Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?”The dog considers this, and replies, “Ruth!”The agent has had enough, and chases them both into the street, shouting, “You charlatans! Fakers! Such bullshit! Don’t come back!”The guy seats himself on a bench, disappointed. The dog curls in his lap, hangdog a look on his snout as can be imagined. Minutes pass, the guy sighs.The dog looks up, and asks, “Do you think the agent was a fan of DiMaggio?”Smoking, drinking, and unmarried sex God visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into heaven. The woman said she would try her best. God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on. “Not bad” said the woman, “I’ve given up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight.
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