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“Joel!” she shouted desperately. Maybe he slept on the sofa, maybe she could explain, somehow salvage this. She ran to the living room and he wasn’t there. She was completely alarmed and hurried to the children’s room. They were gone! Leila groaned from the horror of how bad she had fucked up. She marched down the hall back to the living room and saw her wedding dress on the door. She retrieved it, and felt Judgment Day descend on her like a sword through the heart and it ripped down her stomach. That skanky pair of shorts attached to her wedding dress. Leila wanted a do-over! She wanted forgiveness. Oh, this had to be fixed somehow! Her offenses to the marriage were so obvious, so damning, and Joel’s messages so stark and clear. She howled like a woman being murdered and started flailing her arms about, spinning around the living room and tossing over a lamp and flipping over the coffee table. She howled and stomped around the room and hit at the walls and clawed at the floor. When. ”“You’re preaching to the choir,” I said. “Come on in while I get you some money.”He stepped inside the door and followed me to the kitchen. I started looking for my wallet and couldn’t find it, until I realized I was holding it in my damn hand. “Talk about slow,” I laughed.But it wasn’t “slow” that had caused me to forget, but “hard,” as in the cock now lengthening and stiffening in my shorts. Because sometime over the past 30 seconds I had decided this kid was eminently fuckable and that if I failed to get into his pants my life would be sadly diminished.Jesus, what was I thinking? I could never do that to a 16-year-old. I shook my head, disappointed in myself and at the same time disgusted with my sense of propriety. Sometimes I could be my own worst enemy.He smiled and put the bag down on the cabinet, unzipping it and removing the cardboard box containing my pizza. “I do that sometimes with my sunglasses,” he said. “I’ll be looking all over the place for them and they’re on my.
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