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)I wish I had had the balls to tell her that I was in love with her. But I was young and couldn't. She was the reason I couldn't be with any other woman. Being with another woman after just existing in Mom's world would be akin to living in an efficiency apartment after having lived in a Hollywood mansion. I know, it's a bad analogy, but it's as close as I can get.Beyond the fact that she is extremely beautiful, what I feel for her is much deeper. It goes beyond the sexual desire, goes beyond wanting to possess her, to own her body. What I want and need is to possess her soul, I think that she still loves me as a mother to her son, but my dream is that I need her to love me like a woman loves her man.I'm in love with her and I need for her to love me too, because mother is the reason there is no longer a woman who satisfies me. When having sex, I settled for fucking like animals do, instinctively but without love. Today that is no longer enough.Young girls my age didn't interest me as. It was an entire body sensation. Even more thanthat. The sensations I was having felt that they extended outside of mybody and connected to everything around me. Everything was melting intome, and it was throbbing, pulsating, vibrating pure pleasure.I hovered in this state for a maybe a half an hour. I was not coming. Iwas on the very brink, but Brad must have known how to keep me fromrelease.Suddenly, with no warning, he pulled the dildo out and stopped massagingmy clit and asshole.I felt cheated, somehow. So now not only is my body all messed up andwrong, but my mind is fucked as well. I am craving female orgasm. It'sthe only thing I can think about - attaining that orgasm. I would doanything for it. But now I am lying here tied up, stretched out, and Ican't even touch myself."How's that feel, Paula?" Brad asked.I screamed through my gag, begging for him to finish me, but only muffledoomphs cane out."I know what you are feeling right now. You are burning up and you wantme to make.
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