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“No shit. How many flavors of pine needles can there be?” I shifted and held her tighter.“We know there’s a herd of deer in this valley. I can set up a hunting blind in the Evergreen stand. It will provide concealment and a clear field of fire, maybe I can bag us a Bambi,” Alice volunteered.I cringed a bit at her suggestion. Alice’s enthusiasm for Bambi burgers was what got us into this predicament. It was pointless to bring it up since there was nothing we could do about it and no one was keeping score.“Let’s talk about it in the morning after a full night’s sleep; we need to pick up and go to bed.”I kissed her cheek and rubbed her neck with my hand. Alice cleaned the pan and our mess kits while I wrapped Rocky’s remains in a plastic shopping bag and buried it deep in the hole I dug in the snowdrift. Food storage wasn’t a problem. We lived in a walk-in freezer.“We’re not going to bed without a bath. You stink, I stink, we all stink,” Alice said as she scratched under her boob.. It ain’t nice to joke about hot tea while I’m freezing my ass off.” Her body trembled and shivered as she replied between chattering teeth.“Who’s joking? We’ve got a hobo stove, plenty of fuel, a tea bag, water, a customer, and more time than we know what to do with, so why not?” I answered as I dug through the gear Alice salvaged from the ATV.The hobo stove is the clever invention of some unnamed and forgotten hobo genius of days long gone. The stove’s design is elegant in its simplicity. A resourceful camper could build a fully functional metal stove from scratch in five minutes or less with only a tin can and a church key can opener.Coffee cans are the ideal raw material, but any thin metal container will do the trick. All that is necessary is to remove can’s top while keeping the bottom in place; then a ring of evenly spaced rectangular holes are punched around the top and base of the can for ventilation. Finally, a series of randomly placed carburetor holes are punched through.
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