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I threw myself into taking care of Silvia; my passion became adoring her. Ada would try to be close and I would smell the man smell on her and turn away. She looked confused and hurt when I did this but I couldn't share her. How could I compete with a man half my age? I was a fool, making a life of love on nothing more than a wispy dream.My heart died. I tried to be generous about it — she deserved happiness. But I hadn't realized the depth of my love for her, the dreams I'd spun, the memories I'd created in anticipation. I knew I had lost her and I knew it was my own fault for not telling her of my feelings. I guess I just gave up and prayed that she would at least let me have Silvia in my life.One Saturday night she was even later coming home. It was around ten and she had never gotten home past nine. The phone shrilled, shocking me with the sudden intrusion. It was Timmy from the bar. I'd gone hunting with him a couple times for antelope and knew him pretty well."Dave, I think we. " No, it was something I picked up at the 7-11 by the motel I was staying at. I was waiting for the truck to arrive with my things. I was planning to move in on Monday but the truck hadn't made it." Okay," Josh said, watching her eat. "She took little bites, chewed them for a long time before swallowing. She had long slim fingers with pink polish on them."What do you do?" she asked."I work for Bellform Industries in the accounting department," he replied, not wanting to get into the specifics. "It's one of those nine to five jobs." Is the pay good?" It's not bad. I don't have a boss hanging all over me. He just told me what my job is and leaves me alone to do it. I hardly see him that often. I have an assistant who feeds me the numbers so I can crunch' them." He didn't want to tell her that his assistant looked like a movie star or super model."Do you have a girl friend?"'Getting right to the point, ' Josh thought. "Yes and no. I've been going out with a girl but it hasn't gotten.
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