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I was escaping the wrath of my mother, the confusion of my older brother and younger sister, and reminiscing about the Anglo father I never knew growing up. I changed my birth name (Brianna) to Bronx, cut my hair to reflect the style most young men wore at that time, and began to deal with my life as a transgender male. Yeah, I was a wreck. My mother was expecting me to marry a young man within the Muskogee nation, but I kept telling her that I was struggling with myself. I was in the wrong body, the conformity was too much for me, and I wanted a change of scenery from this constant sadness that plagued me day in and out.So, here I am in April of 2006, in my late twenties, wearing a binder around my already size B cups- pre-everything. At the table next to me, was the honey-blonde, long haired beauty reading out of her UCLA law book, wearing a pink sweatshirt and gray tight fitting yoga stretch pants. I gently walk up to her, eyeing the empty seat, and in my teenage cracking boy. Prel had done his best to share his travels and his, presumably extensive, knowledge of the island but I needed more. Much more. I needed to experience it with my own eyes, especially once I had grown strong enough to lift myself into the air and view it from above. Strangely, it felt like I had freed myself from constraints invisible to the naked eye. Once again, much like that day not too long past in the strangely glowing waters deep beneath the surface, part of what made me Olivia shivered away upon gossamer wings, and yet, I felt no loss, only freedom from the tatters of a moral compass birthed in a world almost forgotten. Yes, my memories of my life before remained and I had not lost who I was but, rather, I had become, or was becoming, more. I was, evolving within as surely as I had evolved without. Yes, perhaps these feelings were merely flights of fancy, but they felt right. Though I had fond memories of the civilized world and most certainly of my companions,.
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