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..These are compliments of Paul H.An older man was speeding down the road at 80 mph when he looked in his rearview mirror and saw a Texas Highway Patrol car coming with its lights flashing and siren blaring. Thinking he could outrun the trooper, the man speeded up to 100 mph. Suddenly, he realized his foolishness and pulled over to the side of the road and stopped.The trooper pulled up, walked up to the car and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes and it’s Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”The man looked at the trooper and said, “Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper and I thought you were bringing her back.”The trooper replied, “Have a nice day.”While in line at the bank one afternoon, my kid decided to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck.I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.I told her that if she didn’t start behaving. " he said his voice husky with emotion and regret. She would watch him for a moment and say, "I can't...not without taking you in." his concerned look would change to one of anger, "Like you could." he growled at her. Looking at her from head to toe he would add, "It's obvious you don't have the strength to take me in." she would blush at the mention of his rape. "I might not have the strength to take you in but if I have to kill you I will Leon." that earned her another growl, "So that is what this has come to?" "What did you think would happen Leon, you'd rape me and that I would stop my mission to bring you in?" she would scoff, "I'm not the same scared little girl you knew those years ago." He would laugh and move closer, "Oh but I know how much of a woman you're my darling." he would wink and take another step closer. She knew her pistol was on the couch behind him, could she get to it quick enough. His reflexes were lightening fast and much more advanced than her own, "You.
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