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“What’s on my mind?” I don’t want to be me, I want to be her. I don’t want to be small and dowdy and forgotten. I don’t want to be “her indoors”, shuffling around in tunic tops and A-line skirts, baking endless cakes for “good causes”, popping round for coffee and chatter about houses, gardens, and “how wonderfully Nathan is doing at his new school”. I want to be tall and elegant with platinum blond hair falling about my shoulders. I want to be the Jean Harlow of his office; foundation, powder, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow and lipstick all perfectly combining to display the charm of my youth. I want to sit erect with my carefully manicured nails alternating between keyboard and phone as calmly and authoritatively I seduce the world to crawl before my hosiery sheathed, heel clad feet in idolising infatuation. I want luminous skin that glows heated and confident beneath form fitting cloth; to stand, hands running erotically down the curvature of my hips as his salivating mouth. Young. It was such a relative term, since the girl couldn't have been much older than James was. Had been, she corrected herself. It was difficult to see people from the same perspective she had had at sixteen. She kept thinking of anybody under thirty as young. Time passed a lot slower than James would have liked. The time sitting on that table seemed to drag on and on, and it was a welcome relief when the knock on the door finally came. James immediately called out a greeting, and Dr. Lindel walked into the room, shutting the door behind herself just as her assistant had done. Dr. Lindel wasn't very old at all. She seemed about mid-thirties, wearing her brown hair pulled back from her face. Her face, thus revealed, was broad, with an easy smile and bright eyes that helped to immediately put James at ease. "Hi Margaret. Or do you still prefer James?" the woman asked, with no trace of sarcasm in her words. "I uh, I'm still trying to get used to Maggie." James mumbled, a bit taken.
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