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Why did I agree to this, I must be mental.(there will be compensations- Jen)August 18th 2013I didn't realise Jen was still reading my journal.We still sleep together but sex is not the reason. We cuddle and it isnice.I am going out with Jim tonight and I am feeling randy. I have even gotmyself some sexy, flimsy underwear and I am going to wear it under afloaty summer dress. Jim knows my background and that it is still toosoon for me to have full on sex, but I am determined to make him reallybegging for it. Power.August 19th 2013That was lots of fun, but bloody frustrating. I looked back in thisjournal and saw that it is only about a month since I started to think ofmen as serious sexual partners that I want to shag. It feels quitenatural now. I think that I really want to get on with it. I see thesurgeon again next week, for a check up. I am still using the dildoseveryday, fun but frustrating.August 28th 2013I have been given the all clear. Apparently, I have healed very quickly.Jen. Jimmy was his best bud, his little buddy. That's what he'd been to McCann all through high school--little buddy. Jimmy had always been a little shorter than McCann, a little less athletic, a little less good-lucking--a natural sidekick, McCann's wing man."It would have been better if she had fucked the gardener," McCann said. "Then I wouldn't have to feel so guilty about not loving her anymore." It sparked out, huh," Jimmy said."Yeah, that's about right," McCann said. "You know how it was. Back then me and Sharon sparked so bright it was like we had our own personal sun to keep us warm. Then it fades, until one morning you wake up and realize it's not there anymore. Worse, you can't even remember if it was ever there in the first place." I hear ya," Jimmy said. "Only took four years for mine to fizzle out. Although it was none too bright to begin with, if you wanna know the truth." I thought having Alvin would help ... rekindle it, you know. Now it's worse. Now I'm trapped. What kind.
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